Supreme Court Nominations: Episode II -- REVENGE OF THE SLIT

As every character in the STAR WARS saga would say: "I have a bad feeling about this."

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH has appointed a DARK LORD OF THE SITH to the U.S. SUPREME COURT. He's expected to officially rename the United States "THE EMPIRE" within the next week.

It seems that MAUREEN DOWD was on to something when she equated the two BUSH ADMINISTRATIONS to the evil GALACTIC EMPIRE in GEORGE LUCAS' space opera.

In Dowd's lore, V.P. DICK CHENEY was Imperial enforcer extraordinairre DARTH VADER; RUMMY was nefarious DEATH STAR honcho TARKIN and DUBYA was LUKE SKYWALKER, flirting dangerously too close to the Dark Side.

But a stunning side-by-side comparison created by WONKETTE has confirmed that HARRIET MIERS is actually evil Sith lord EMPEROR PALPATINE -- the phantom menace himself.

DARTH HARRIET's first order of business: recommending that new apprentice Bush dissolve the council, put power in the hands of the regional governors, and let fear keep the local systems in line.